Long term depression is a sign of increased self awareness and a higher understanding of the world around you…..
Being a single parent of two kids, a boy and a girl, I have come to only rely on myself. I split custody with their mother. When I have the kids there is no one with me that helps. It has been like this for almost 8 years. I have become acustom to this lifestyle. But there are times when I feel like I need to be better. One male raising another is less of a challenge than a male raising a female. I have learned to do her hair and indulge in “girl talk”. But I still do not know how to do makeup or apply lipstick. This may seem insignificant but for me this is a blow to my ego. I feel as a parent, despite my gender, I need to be able to do those things and help my daughter because it is my responsibility. I hold the title of being a parent in high regards. (Take notice to the fact that I have not used the word “father”. ) Recently, my daughter had to take photos for her dance team. My best friend, who is also my kids’ aunt, informed me that she had to take pictures for her dance team. She told me the color scheme of their outfits too. I interpret the information and thought that the pictures were more informal but upon arrival I learned that she should have worn something more formal. Basically something better than leggings and a shirt lol. As I was talking on the phone with my best friend, I could tell she felt bad for not describing the situation better to me. But it is not her fault. She thought I knew more information about the photo shoot, thinking her sister (my ex wife) told me about it…. But that’s another issue in its own lol…. Anyways, my best friend always helps me and is a great aunt. She brought something for my daughter to wear and saved the day. But in the midst of things my ego was bruised. Seeing my best friend apply lipstick to my daughter, I felt bad as a a parent for not being more prepared. The weight I carry to always be the best that I can be is an unnecessary burden. I put so much pressure on myself to be great. As a man, I did not want to appear that I was not capable of picking out a nice outfit or doing makeup and lipstick. To me it is a sign of weakness that I do not like. Even though I was just unaware of the attire she should have on, it highlighted an underlying issue within myself. The truth is that I need to let go of my ego and accept help. This story was about a simple situation that highlighted a big issue for me. Because even if I knew what the attire needed to be for the pictures, I would have picked out the right outfit and made sure her hair was nice. But I know nothing about lipstick and makeup haha. So no matter what I would have needed help, which I do not like anyone helping me with my kids…… And that is stupid. Everyone needs help. My mother, sister, and my best friend all help me at times with my kids. I am a thousand times grateful for them. Now it’s time I get out of my own head and push the ego aside. Everyday I try to do my best and that’s all anyone can do. I wanted to share this story to get this off my chest. A symbolic way of letting my ego go. I also wanted to publicly acknowledge my love and appreciation for the women in my life who help me raise my little woman. ❤️❤️❤️
When someone says, “You look healthy.”, that lets you know that they are ignorant and incompetent. “Healthy” is more than just a physical appearance.
“No one man should have all that power” – Kanye West
There are no leaders. There are only followers, who are too lazy to think for themselves….
Truth is the only thing these women want from me is some attention. Fictitious words they say, addicted to the compliments. If I were to die today, watch how easily I would be replaced.
If I told you I worked for a top Fortune 500 company and I made an annual $100k salary, you would think I have a great life. But the reality is that I work 70-80 hour weeks, rarely take vacation, and I have little interaction with my family…… If I told you I run a small accounting business that has a net profit of $50k annually, you wouldn’t think much of it. But with my small business I dictate my hours, I control my resources, and I control my life….. Don’t work to make money. Work to enjoy an interest or a passion and work to provide yourself with a lifestyle that enables you to actually LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!