Ever since we got close nothing has been the same. I’ve been feeling deep emotions that I thought I threw away. Sometimes I get jealous and my paranoid thoughts send me into a rage. But I keep it to myself locked up in a cage. Though I do apologize for that day I let it slip away. This is still crazy, I can’t believe I’m even feeling this way. A rarity it’s been that my heart has sent me into a whirlwind of different emotions. A bunch of shit I’m not used to dealing with. I’m usually calm and collected. Never see me be affected by anyone’s actions. I’ve kept that shit hidden. Lately I haven’t and I’ve been off my wagon. My mind’s been doing jumping jacks trying to jump over the madness. Master of my own reality but prisoner to my thoughts. I’m in control of my emotions until the minute I’m not. I’m fucked up and I got issues. Every outburst is clearly my fault. None of this would even happen if I would just accept what’s happening. My heart is afraid cause it doesn’t feel the same and my brain is going insane. I’m falling in love and I never wanted to feel like this again because love is pain.