This is an honest assessment of myself as I navigate the dating world at 30…..
I am so damn lost and confused! I’m not sure if I know what I’m doing at all. And I’m almost certain that everyone else has no fucking clue as well. You see when I meet someone new a million different thoughts goes through my head. I often comtemplate what are the best words to say. How do I say or texted them? Am I speaking too much about myself or am I not asking enough questions? Shit, am I asking too many questions? It may be simple for some but for a person life myself, who over thinks and analyzes every situation, the journey of dating is a wild, unpredictable, and unsuccessful adventure.
I’ve come to learn that I am who I am. As stubborn as that sounds, but I will live and die with the person I see in the mirror. By that I mean I will not play the “game” when it comes to approaching a woman. I have no ulterior motives, such as, me speaking to a women in order to attain sex or sexual pleasures. When I find a woman that I am attracted to and I feel the vibe is right I will engage in conversation in order to become more familiar with her. I want to know who she is on the inside. You see I struggle with small talk. To be honest, most of the time I would rather not speak to people. But when I do speak I like to have meaningful conversations. Unless, I am talking about sports, video games, or rap lyrics lol. I am not a smooth talker. When I speak it’s honest and genuine. I do that because that is what I will like in return. But having this approach can be too much for some. Or I am just pouring it on too much in the beginning. Either way it’s safe to say that when it comes to dating I have a hard time with the first step, and that’s the opening introduction. So you can imagine I don’t get far with most women.
Now to add on to my unusual approach to women I also have two kids and an ex wife. Either of which are a complete turn off for some. A woman will either be ok with me having children but not like the fact that I still have contact with my ex wife or they will not like the fact that I have kids…. Are you confused yet?
To say it’s hard out here for me to date is an understatement lol. Sometimes I wish I could just go on one of those dating shows and have women compete over me. Then again, those don’t seem to work out for people either. I will keep pushing forward and keep my spirits up high. I’m still very optimistic about my dating future. I am also realistic as to my chances of finding someone at this age and stage of my life. Currently my bar is set low. I just want someone I can take out to dinner, watch a movie, and go on trips together. Like is that too much to ask for in this world?
I will keep you all posted about this subject. Hell maybe next time I write about this I’ll have good news. I mean, you never know what may happen right?
