They’ll never understand where you are trying to come from with your thoughts. The process is not complicated but unknown to some. The mind of a so called genius is filled with so many ideas and unable to convey their message, they label you crazy and lazy for never getting out of bed. The depressive state you’re constantly in can be too much for some to comprehend. But yet you understand and that’s all that matters. Be true and honest to your self and know your own wealth. Always pay attention to your physical and mental health. You’re not a psycho. You’re not emotional. I too am wrong for always throwing around these misconceptions and labels. We must be better to one another and try harder to conscious of the mind, a place that is still yet mysterious.
Never been woke because I was never asleep. I’ve been consciously aware since my own beginning. My whole sole purpose in this reality is to open their third eyes so the blind can see. In this land the one who possesses the knowledge reigns as King. But to have all us be aware is the true meaning of equality. Strip away the ego, let go of the greed. Be respectful and humble, then we all will see prosperity.
It’s love I desire. I aspire to find someone you will love me unconditionally for all of eternity. The love I seek is the love you see that happens on tv and lives in Disney movies. In search for my Bonnie, I’m looking for a queen. A woman who will stand by me with more or equal strength. I once believe that my dream was a reality but then time passed by and I realized that stage of my life was only a hurdle on the road of my journey. As I can continue to drive down my path that I have chosen to take, I pray for the day I find her on my way. My life is good without her but with her it could possibly be great. Don’t make the mistake that I need her to supply me with happiness. But if I had one wish I would wish for a woman who loves me beyond our final kiss.
I’m on the brink, it’s bad, I’m finally about to snap back into depression. I’m on the verge of relapse. It’s sad, I don’t know why they had to do me like that. It’s facts! The system doesn’t care about my black ass. I crashed. At one moment I was up so high, head up in the sky, chilling on cloud nine. Now I find it hard to even put on a smile. Inside I cry, and on the outside I lie. Walking around pretending that everything is alright. You might read this and be a little surprised. But don’t be, just know that I’ll admit to more than I show. I vent to those who know the feeling. I have a network of supporters and we all help each other fight through the never ending internal struggle. As we all hold our breath praying to keep our head above water. In order to survive the pain that resides you have to dig deep and find the person within that hides and bring the strength out. Because none of us want to die. Never let sadness eat you up inside. Rise!! And for those who do not yet know the feeling, trust me, in due time you too will experience the feeling. But know if I can push through and make it than you to can continue on grinding and living.
I’m stuck, fuck this shit. I’m trying to escape The Matrix but I’m trapped in the Pit of Misery… Dilly dilly! I’m trying to get free from this mental prison. Slavery is still in existence. They got you working 9-5 just to survive but your energy only increases the profits and resources of people who don’t even care if you die. The president doesn’t give a fuck about, the government doesn’t even pretend to know you. Money isn’t real it’s another tool used to control you. Yet here we are trying to buy the latest automobiles, cell phones, and clothes. Forever being distracted by what is actually real. The gift you have been given is to have a conscientious experience. To feel love and enjoy all the emotions that comes with living in this third dimension. So don’t waste it……..
I signed that contract and now it’s time to take my life back. In fact, let’s do the math, I gave you more than that. I gave you all the time that I should have spent with my kids. And to no one’s surprise, you don’t even give a shit. You fucked up my pay and destroyed the place where I stayed. After you had already sent me far away. You tell the world that I’m a hero but you and I know the truth. I’m just a kid that you use and abuse. I’m so sick and tired of all your rules. The confusing games you play when you pretend to care about me. But I’m just a name on a page that can easily be replaced. No memory or recollection will ever be made. Once I’m gone, I’m gone, until the day I hit the grave and you place that flag over my casket. And have those bastards play your music, then with a salute you send me away for good.
This house is empty, these walls aren’t a home when I’m alone, it’s just me. The tv is talking, speaking The Netflix language. Me and it are holding a conversation while the couch and my ass become best friends. I’m starting to think my daughter is right with her observation. Her father is more lonely than he’ll ever admit. This is my moment of weakness or am I just being vulnerable and showing the emotions I hold dear to my chest. With ever heart beat and every deep breath I contemplate will I spend the rest of my life like this. As I write this my eyes get heavy, I’m ready to fall asleep and hit the reset button. Then it’s back to the same shit again.