I miss you! I mean of course I do. I think about all the time we spent, the late night conversations. I gave a piece of my heart to you. So why would I be a fool to deny the truth that I can’t go a minute without thinking about you. I hate this feeling but it’s only natural to miss the person that you cared for who is no longer there for you. Every single second was special. I treasure every moment but I need to let go and move on. This morning I woke up singing the song that reminds me of you. I look around and I realize everything reminds me of you. I still see your beautiful smile. Your pretty eyes and facial expressions are forever etched into my memory for all of eternity. I yearn to be in your presence while at the same time I wish to never see you again in my life. Contradicting emotions causing so much commotion in my mind and my soul. It’s so hard to let you go. Call me a love sick puppy, I feel like a dummy, for even thinking that we could of actually had something. Forever optimistic, always the hopeless romantic. The dreamer who dreamt you into existence. Now I just wish that you never existed so I wouldn’t feel the way I feel at this moment.
Many people when faced with a situation between choosing love and making the logical decision, they choose to make the rational choice. But love is not a choice that can be made based on research, statistics, and evidence. You can not look at love an analyize it. No, the choice has to be made based on your intuitive emotions. It is a choice made by the heart.
Being able to control your emotions during a fucked up moment, shows maturity.
Emotions run deep, I think of you constantly. Always on my mind you make me so damn happy. Publicly I never speak of you and me because things work better when they are kept privately. Cautiously I navigate through this life trying my best not to make mistakes or dwell on the thoughts and events of past days. You’re special to me and you get the upmost deserving treatment, more than I have done before. It’s different now because you are the one I truly care for. You are the one who I will always be there for. I pray for a great outcome but life is crazy and you don’t know what it has in store for you. You’re beautiful and incredible though you don’t like compliments, I only speak facts. This is just my observation. To say I’ve been waiting for someone like you is an over statement. Let’s build and grow this into something amazing. Pay the outsiders no attention because they only mention things that they don’t comprehend. They fail to see the potential. This is my attempt to write something displaying my emotions but more than words is what you deserve. So I’ll let my actions speak louder. I hope they are heard……..
I’m sure a lot of my friends and people who read this will probably be upset that I’m saying this, some will call me a sellout or Uncle Tom but fuck it lol. I don’t get why people will go protest another group’s protest. That’s setting yourself up for conflict. That’s way too many emotions gather in one area. Like if the KKK wants to protest at city hall for an issue why would people go there the same day to oppose it. Why not do your own rally at a different day or someone where else. You may not like someone’s opinion but at least respect it. When there’s a BLM protest you have counter protestors. When there’s an pro Trunp rally you have counter protestors. But why? We are in the Digital Information Age and everyone’s thoughts and options can be heard in an instance. There are multiple outlets and platforms to voice your inalienable right to free speech. It doesn’t have to be at the same time that someone else does it. I am not speaking my opinion on the events that took place in Charlottesville only wondering in general about protests. I think it’s a fair question to ask.
Last year the girl I was with looked over my fence like Wilson did every time he was talking to Tim. My emotional wall was built up over years until I finally let someone in. Over a couple months it all came down then to my surprise the relationship ran into a dead end. I saw it all coming like a bad accident and I didn’t bother to even get caught up in my emotions. Though I was kinda pissed about how she did it I said ‘Fuck this shit!’ and went on about my business. I was determine to build my wall up again so fuckin tired of dealing with females, I don’t know if I even want them as friends. Never again, I’m not allowing anyone to penetrate my emotional defense. Things never turn out for the good so what’s the point in even taking a chance. To die alone a single man sounds like a decent plan. I’m note sure if I will ever find romance.
…….. As I write this I am still optimistic and I can imagine one day meeting the perfect woman. One that gets who I am and allows me to be me. She will be the one I tear down the wall for to build a life with. She will be the one I will allow love to let in, until then, it’s just a dream in my head.