Poem of the Day: For My Sister (My First Best Friend)

Take it back to when we were just 90’s kids playing Streets of Rage 2 on my Sega Genesis, I used to think, I was so happy to have days like this. You were my first best friend. The main person I wanted to play with. I could of never imagined it ever being any different. But as you got older our interest began to differ. You wanted your privacy, you shut the door on me. I sat in the hallway on the floor crying. We used to get into fights as you chased me around the house. All because I would annoy you and say slick shit out my mouth. But I just wanted your attention. And not to mention, I didn’t understand that you were a young growing women. Five years apart, we were on different paths and I was too young to even recognize that. Next thing I knew you were off to college seeking higher knowledge. It never struck me that me and my sister would grow apart. Just know that you will always be the first love in my heart. Our journeys took us on different roads far from each other. And even tho we are not as close as we once were I will always love you. I will forever be your brother!


Poem of the Day:  …….. (Dig)

Deep, it goes so deep.  The emotions I put them away and now I can’t even weep.  I haven’t shed a tear.  Are you surprised to hear?  That after what you did, I barely even care.  The emotions I took them, placed them in a bag.  With a draw string tie and then threw them in the trash.  There’s no changing the past so don’t regret your mistake.  You made the choice that you wanted to make, and you sacrificed our family just to have things go your way.  I don’t know how we got here, standing at the cross roads again.  Everyone has a comment but honestly they don’t know shit.  Only me, you, and the kids know what it really is.  Everybody else just provided their two cents.  If it looks crazy from the outside, that’s because it is crazy on the inside.  I didn’t sign up for this crazy ride.  But just like a roller coaster the strap buckle has been pulled down.  I’m stuck, so this is my life now, until I die.  It’s hard to believe that I don’t even miss you but that has to be a lie since I keep having these sniffles.  Or maybe it’s just allergies.  It’s sad too see something potentially beautiful be ruin by ones own greed.  It’s not a Disney movie so there is no perfect ending.  We keep running in circles until the lesson is learned.  Then and only then can we achieved what you long yearned for.  

Trying to Understand Love

Love….. Those electrical signals that start in the brain and sent through our neurons to other parts of our bodies. The key component behind our desire to find a mate and procreate. Scientifically that’s the purpose of love, is it not? Truthfully I do not understand love. I know what has been told to me since I was a child. I know what Dinsey movies say about love and fiary tales that always have a happy ending. But how do I define love? What is it to me? I don’t know. That might be a hard answer for some to get but it is the best honest response. There’s far too much influence from society portraying images of love upon us. First they tell us love is between a man and a woman. Or the love a parent feels for their biological child….. Wait….. In the past few decades this concept has been turned upside down. People love their adopted children as much as they love their biological. Now there is love between a man and another man as well as between two women. So disregard the previous theory. Who defines love then? Do we really know what love is? Once you strip away all the stereotypes and false images you will begin to find the answer. Love is love. It’s a state of being. Everything else are just choices made based on our perceived emotions through a chemical reaction at the time. We are 3 dimensional beings who live and thrive in the present. For example, I love my wife and kids. That’s a given, correct? But if I told you that sometimes I don’t like them then you would say I am a horrible person. You would then come to believe that I do not love my wife. Also you would think that I am a heartless person who does not care for his kids either. Wrong! I love them. Not based on any emotions are other senses and reactions from the brain. I love them based on something that we as human can not explain. Anytime I have an argument or something negative happens then my emotions take over. Thus anything that is said for felt at the time can not be trusted because my true self is not making any decisions. We are constantly clouded by misinformation on a daily basis. Our brains tells us thing that we think we know. We have been so manipulated throught out our lives that is almost damn near impossible for us to make clear decisions based on thought. But when dealing with love I trust my actions, my gut feelings, my instincts, my intuition. That unexplainable thing that guides us through our lives. Call it a spirit, God, Allah, Jehovah, or whatever name you need to. But it is there in which love exists. We all have doubts. I doubt if I love my family and my friends. I’m sure they doubt if they love me as well. But there will be certain moments in our lives where a choice will be made and that choice will be determined by love. When I think about if I love my wife I don’t think about my current state of emotions. No, I go back to the night on the wooden swing in her parents front yard, when we discuss about getting married. My parents did not think it was a good idea and a few hours before I had an argument with them. My wife asked was I certain about getting married and I hesitated. Not because I didn’t want to. Not because my family was mad. But because at that moment I felt something in which no words can describe. A calmness. I knew I was simply making a choice. Nothing more and nothing less. That moment didn’t determine my love for either of them because it already was. My existence of love for them just is. It can never be taken away. When I think about my children I think about the moment they were born. I didn’t question if I Ioved them. It just was. Think of a dog, how he loves the family that he is with. They don’t think or act upon the many different emotions you display. When you scream or punish them for peeing on your carpet. They don’t think about any of the negative choices that have been made. They only know love. It’s simple for them yet complicated to us. Why? How come we do not understand love? What are we doing wrong? My life experiences and the journey I am on has brought me to this conclusion……. I do not understand love and in this physical reality, I never will. And that’s ok. I can only try to learn more about the world and put forth effort into the people around me. Why complicate life when at its core it is just simple.


Family:  The Lost Concept 

The idea of family has long been forgotten in today’s culture. People no longer grow up around a family foundation. Then once someone reaches adulthood they are encourage to leave their home and move far away to begin their journey in the world. The structure of family is not based on the amount of members or the sexual orientation but it should be based on a group of individuals that are bound together. A group that is committed to being there for each other throughout the entirety of their lives. Unfortunately the influence we see that is being portrayed in our culture is that family consists of only a few individuals and they feel forced to be in the relationship. You have siblings and cousins that are close when they are kids but become so distant when they get older. Sure people grow differently and choices are made. Goals and interest change but that shouldn’t change the relationship in the family. The family is the foundation for our species. It’s where we pass on values, stories, and love through the generations. We are told that blood is thicker than water. An ideology that I believe is irrevelant. Once a memeber is established as a part of your family then they can never  be replaced or pushed out. Only new additions can be made. The family should be a strong foundation. A stronghold that no outside person can break. Neither should there be any internal struggles be allowed too. It is the responsibility of every memeber of that family to support each other and protect each other. Influences from outside precense will always be around. There will always be people who are jealous and envious. I will not call them enemies, just people that are lost and in search for something they can have of their own. Those people are around and they can be disguised as anyone. That’s why no matter what you and your family stand strong together. The government is not a supporter of the family. They legalize marriage even though it is a thousand year old tradition. Only to tax and make profit from it. They allow divorces, which is an even longer process, as another way to create revenue. We see different lineups of on TV of what a family is and what a family can be. But people misunderstand that television main purpose is to entertain and manipulate the masses. So don’t trust what you see on TV at times. I am not saying that it is wrong or unhealthy to have a single parent family household or adopt kids. I believe that all efforts, time, and energy should be spent on the family first before anything else. If this is done then many of the problems in our present day world will be eliminated. Such as, depression, bullying, low self esteem, and other psychological problems that are based upon the environment in which you were raised. So take the time now to make the change in your life to be more connected to your family, immediate and extended.