Her hearts broken, she’s so confused. Trying to figure out her next move but she doesn’t know what to do. The dude she loved is gone, no longer is he around. Sadness is a permanent cloud that hangs over her head now. Raining down, her tears fall to the ground. She ponders if she will ever wear anything again that isn’t a frown. A blow to the chest the pressure makes it hard to breathe. The news caught her off guard, she had her suspicions but she’s in disbelief that this is happening. The ending of a relationship with the man she once thought she would call husband. Over a small but important decision that altered the lives of two human beings.
Through the struggle and depression a diamond surfaced or like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon to see the sunlight, she arose a new person. She holds her head up hide. Never let a guy or woman hold your happiness hostage. You are the ruler of you own existence. Be proud of the person you are because I’m proud to call you my friend. May you never let anyone ever bring you down again.
It’s love I desire. I aspire to find someone you will love me unconditionally for all of eternity. The love I seek is the love you see that happens on tv and lives in Disney movies. In search for my Bonnie, I’m looking for a queen. A woman who will stand by me with more or equal strength. I once believe that my dream was a reality but then time passed by and I realized that stage of my life was only a hurdle on the road of my journey. As I can continue to drive down my path that I have chosen to take, I pray for the day I find her on my way. My life is good without her but with her it could possibly be great. Don’t make the mistake that I need her to supply me with happiness. But if I had one wish I would wish for a woman who loves me beyond our final kiss.
I’m stuck, fuck this shit. I’m trying to escape The Matrix but I’m trapped in the Pit of Misery… Dilly dilly! I’m trying to get free from this mental prison. Slavery is still in existence. They got you working 9-5 just to survive but your energy only increases the profits and resources of people who don’t even care if you die. The president doesn’t give a fuck about, the government doesn’t even pretend to know you. Money isn’t real it’s another tool used to control you. Yet here we are trying to buy the latest automobiles, cell phones, and clothes. Forever being distracted by what is actually real. The gift you have been given is to have a conscientious experience. To feel love and enjoy all the emotions that comes with living in this third dimension. So don’t waste it……..
I signed that contract and now it’s time to take my life back. In fact, let’s do the math, I gave you more than that. I gave you all the time that I should have spent with my kids. And to no one’s surprise, you don’t even give a shit. You fucked up my pay and destroyed the place where I stayed. After you had already sent me far away. You tell the world that I’m a hero but you and I know the truth. I’m just a kid that you use and abuse. I’m so sick and tired of all your rules. The confusing games you play when you pretend to care about me. But I’m just a name on a page that can easily be replaced. No memory or recollection will ever be made. Once I’m gone, I’m gone, until the day I hit the grave and you place that flag over my casket. And have those bastards play your music, then with a salute you send me away for good.
This house is empty, these walls aren’t a home when I’m alone, it’s just me. The tv is talking, speaking The Netflix language. Me and it are holding a conversation while the couch and my ass become best friends. I’m starting to think my daughter is right with her observation. Her father is more lonely than he’ll ever admit. This is my moment of weakness or am I just being vulnerable and showing the emotions I hold dear to my chest. With ever heart beat and every deep breath I contemplate will I spend the rest of my life like this. As I write this my eyes get heavy, I’m ready to fall asleep and hit the reset button. Then it’s back to the same shit again.
What happened to us? What happened to you? Things seemed so right, you were the love of my life. Then shit went wrong and now I can’t even stand the sight of you. I’m wondering was I the fool to even fall in love with you. I thought it was going to be us against the world, just us two! I loved you more than I could ever admit to. I thought we would be together forever. That’s what marriage is suppose to be. But it didn’t work out, no reason to place blame or bother with apologies. The past is the past, it’s just that, history. We both moved on but it still seems like a sad love song or story. So much love held and now it’s gone……
It’s absurd, I’ll prolly never get what I deserve. I’m scouring the surface of the Earth in search of the perfect girl. Many missteps and mishaps, I fell in love only to fall flat on my ass. What was I thinking? I didn’t do the math. So it shouldn’t have shocked me when she did me like that. I wish I had a map to help me find the right path to a successful relationship. I’m so tired of this crap. Dating sucks, fuck! I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m moving along walking slowly in a cloud of confusion. Wondering if the next move will be the right move. Or am I just being used as someone’s else’s tool to give their own ego a boost. I was there for all of you like I had nothing to loose. Put my heart on the line. I hung out to dry outside, then watched as the wind came and blew it into the sky. Now these females seem surprised when I’m no longer that nice guy. The asshole has taken over and now it’s his time…..