The resiliency inside me can be electrifying. It’s amazing how I bounce back from adversity. I’m truly outstanding. A man with the keen ability to always keep fighting. The universe’s got me fucked up if it thinks I’m gonna stay stuck in the muck. I can withstand the mud that’s on my shoes. It won’t slow me down, I’ll never loose. So tell the whole world to get out the way, I’m coming through. These are truthful words something you’re not used to hearing. A society living blindly and mindlessly. But not me, I use my one eye to see. As I rise to the top y’all can start off by calling me King. Eliminating anything and everything that may oppose me in an area of 100 square feet. Please take notice the proximity of my vicinity. View this as a warning. I’m warming up. Getting the arsenal ready because I have had enough of all the stupidity, ignorance, and debt slavery. I’m here to set the world free. I know you need me. The revolution is close to a retreat. Now it’s time to call in the calvary. Tell them we don’t want their money. We will never go hungry. We don’t need their assistance, go tell them to eat a dick, shit!! I’m tired of the politicians. I’m sick of the president. Who gives a fuck if he’s black, honestly he didn’t make a difference. Well, at least not positive. Their existence has proven to serve no real benefit. The reality of the situation is, we don’t need a government. Lets get rid of them!!
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I feel weak and my life is bleak. The ground beneath my feet is starting to shake, my faith is shrinking, and this solid concrete is beginning to feel like quick sand. I need a helping hand so I’m waiting for a man or woman to to come and save me from this life I live. But no one is around. All I see is the face of my own reflection looking back at me, telling me to rise up and be a better man. I can! I can! Raise my fist up to the sky in rejoice and celebrate the rebirth of who I am. The Phoenix died and came back alive to rise up from the ashes, no longer a mortal but a legend.
Ever since we got close nothing has been the same. I’ve been feeling deep emotions that I thought I threw away. Sometimes I get jealous and my paranoid thoughts send me into a rage. But I keep it to myself locked up in a cage. Though I do apologize for that day I let it slip away. This is still crazy, I can’t believe I’m even feeling this way. A rarity it’s been that my heart has sent me into a whirlwind of different emotions. A bunch of shit I’m not used to dealing with. I’m usually calm and collected. Never see me be affected by anyone’s actions. I’ve kept that shit hidden. Lately I haven’t and I’ve been off my wagon. My mind’s been doing jumping jacks trying to jump over the madness. Master of my own reality but prisoner to my thoughts. I’m in control of my emotions until the minute I’m not. I’m fucked up and I got issues. Every outburst is clearly my fault. None of this would even happen if I would just accept what’s happening. My heart is afraid cause it doesn’t feel the same and my brain is going insane. I’m falling in love and I never wanted to feel like this again because love is pain.
Shout out to all my exes and any female I ever messed with. This is for all those women who did me wrong and disrespected me. I grew strong through every situation. I laughed in the face of rejection and battled through the Great Depression to come out on top. A better man than what you remember. I took so many chances, followed my heart and had different romances. None of that shit turned out to be long standing but I’ll keep playing the love game until I find The One. The past is the past. I leave that shit behind my ass, as I walk the path of the present on the road to the future. Contraditicing as I say this cause it sounds like I’m holding grudges but I’m just saying thank you to those you provided me with life lessons. I cherish every moment and grateful for all my blessings, appreciate all the minutes and seconds I spent with them.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. You looked into my eyes, they locked, and I never cried so much in my life. I was so shocked. I called your grandmother, my voice was weak. I told her “Hey, mommy, Im a dad. This is almost to hard to believe.” I held you close in my arms. So nervous was I, to the point I was afraid to ever let go out of my sight. You gave me a high that was a surprise. Now I have the honor of being the most important person in you life. I will never let you down. Tho at times I may not be by your side. Please know that daddy is doing his best to provide you a great life. I had a father to show me how to be a father and he told me one day that I will be a better father than he was to me. But he was great so I will try not to make any mistakes. I know sometimes Im hard on you and I apologize. Tough love was how I was raised and I feel its the best way to teach you how to survive. Our lives are difficult and I know you know that. You have daddy’s strength so you’ll never fall back. Only four years old and you’ve made me so proud. The way you handle things gives me a smile. And its ok that you lost your ear rings. Daddy will get you new ones. You know I will do anything for you. We’ve been through so much together over the past year. We saw each other cry and we wiped each others tears. Your an amazing daugther. I could not be a more proud father. I promise I will always be there. I love you, Sydney!!! 🙂
Life sometimes can put you into a corner. And no I’m not speaking metaphors, I’ve literally had my back up against the wall. Contemplating life and wondering should I end it all. The story of the underdog is always fighting the odds, they stay stacked up against him. People always doubting and pretending to be friends. They smile in your face and behind the look in their eyes their smiles are filled with hate. Because to see you succeed means they life isn’t as great as it seems. They despise every choice you make and pray for your downfall, they love to see you make mistakes. This is human nature, people can really suck. So ignore the fake and embrace the real……
I want to hangout with my friends but I can’t. I want to be at home alone playing my video games, man. I got plans to lay around on my couch, binge watching Netflix series and living carefree with no doubts. I have a hard time going out. Socializing at a bar just seems like that’s something I’m not about. Most of the time my head will be up in the clouds as I ponder my existence, if aliens are real, and what I plan to do once I get back to my house. I’m weird I know. I don’t feel like I fit in. I’m wondering half the time am I even consider a human being. It might sound silly but the thoughts I have put me in a class by myself separate from all the billions of people living. Don’t even get me started on my lack of relationships. Dating is a concept that I just seem to struggle with. Always juggle the idea of dating or staying single. Like yea a woman would be nice but then she’ll prolly talk to damn much. A lot of nothing stuff coming out of her mouth meanwhile I’ll want to talk about government conspiracies. Let’s be honest, who the hell wants to hear someone go on about how the food and water supply is poisoned. Thus single is the zone and the place I call home. Being an introvert might seem tough or rough but my life is awesome, cuz honestly, I just don’t give a fuck 😂😂